I Love My Ma!

My Ma is approaching eighty years old soon and beautiful as can be in every way. Extremely head strong and determined, sweetly thoughtful and sentimental, sharp and intelligent, she is the most admirable person I know and love dearly. She is my s/hero and I can only hope to be half the woman that she is.

When Dad died, I was a one year old baby and my sister was three years old. It was Ma who raised us as a single parent, nurtured us till we were ready to fly out of the nest, and to this day continues to support us in every way imaginable. Ma went through so many challenging times in her life: a fire that burned down our house to nothing, leaving our family with not much more than literally the clothes on our backs; a raging flood that went through town, totally washed away our home, carried it a distance down the river, and again, left us with not much more than the clothes on our backs. Through all these times, she remained strong and always managed to give me and my sis the best possible life.

The top ten reasons why I love my mom:

1. When I was very young, for as long as I can remember, in spite of a very tight budget, Mom always made Christmas the best celebratory time ever. She stayed up really late many nights before the day, (after working at a full time job and running a few small businesses) sewing new dresses for her girls. She even made little adorable hair ribbons to match. On Christmas eve, we stayed up late at night cooking all sorts of yummy goodies, from Filipino tamales, to yam cakes, cassava pudding, and more, while we waited for midnight mass. On Christmas day, we visited friends and family and collected so many cash gifts that it made me feel so rich.

2. She always made the best dishes to eat, experimenting with new recipes and doing it with joy in her tiny kitchen. She even peeled shrimps and cracked crab legs for me and my sister during meals. She took so much delight in seeing us enjoy her cooking.

3. When my sister and I got in trouble for ditching school, she was called into the principal's office. She lied to the school, saying she gave us permission to skip so we can run errands for her. :-) (P.S. - We were very good students!)

4. For the few years that my sis and I were in college, on weekends when we didn't go home, Ma made sure we were nurtured and fed. She cooked loads of our favorite dishes, packed these into carrying bags, and hopped on public transportation to visit us. At that time, buses were not air conditioned and she had to endure 2-3 hour trips in the heat.

5. She tolerated my radical political activism that I got involved with in high school, allowing me express my beliefs that were important to me. I knew she was very nervous when I mouthed off to a political goon armed with an armalite, but she was proud of me.

6. When I was in an BIG oratorical contest in high school, I didn't want her to attend because it was going to make me nervous. (Yes, I was not very nice at all) She didn't give me a hard time about it though I swear I saw her sneak in at the back of the auditorium to watch me.

7. She took us to the movies even when she hated movies and always slept in them.

8. When I was going through my marital breakdown and just had my baby, she took six months off from work to be with me and help me get settled. She allowed me to be weak when I was tired and weary of being so strong in the midst of my life's drama.

9. When I was going through some very emotional problems recently, she'd tell me over the phone, "You are strong, you can handle this." It was about the only thing that made me hang on and overcome.

10. She loves to share her recipes with me. I truly enjoy the many long phone chats when she and I share over the phone discussing what to make for dinner or special occasions.

And there are so many more reasons why I love Ma. But in a nutshell, I love Ma because she is the epitome of a caring, thoughtful, and giving woman. In addition, she also possesses the strength of spirit, mind, and determination that set a great example for the next generation of women in our family.

There are no words adequate enough to describe just how much I admire, respect, and love my Ma.


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New Life

How easily we forget when we are going through death that there's always a rebirth at the other end, if we choose it. Whether it is the death of a marriage, a job, a friendship, or any other loss, we grieve (as we should) and get stuck there. We have witnessed in our lives the many instances that where death is, often times, the rebirth of victory is not too far away.

The death of something meaningful in our lives is sometimes brought about by circumstances beyond our control -- a lay off, a divorce that we didn't want, sickness, people just choosing to leave us, and other events that we would not have chosen. Nevertheless, it happens. At other times, we've chosen to leave a relationship, to terminate a business, to severe friendships. It may have been a very tough decision. Nevertheless, it happens.



At times, this is necessary, to give birth to something more meaningful, to make way for our own purpose, to allow growth for those concerned. We mourn and become paralyzed by the thought of what we've lost. We are unable to move to the next stage. A time for reassessment before choosing to move ahead is essential; to evaluate the goodness and be grateful, to learn the lessons, to celebrate what was.

From there, it is critical that we get ourselves up from the bed of regrets and grief, dust ourselves up, take that shower, and rejoin the world. For the world is waiting for us to take our place, a place where we start (maybe from scratch) renewing and rekindling. It will happen. The soul will once again breath its life into a newness, growth, and a new celebration.

It is easy to forget, but the cycle of nature, and Easter, reminds us that death is not a forever loss. It is moving to a new level of existence where we bring forth the lessons, the growth, the maturity we've acquired to create another significant and meaningful life -- in our relationships, our careers, our friendships, our art, our contributions to life.

Happy Resurrection. Welcome to a new life.
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Tweaking the Code

Have you ever worked on a blog using a template? Did you sometimes feel that it didn't quite appeal to you completely? It may be a great start but you wanted to make it feel just right. So you got into the messy work of tweaking the code to make it perfect for your needs.

Likewise, there are times when there are areas in our lives where we need to tweak the code to make it right for us.


Margins.
I do not like the cluttered look where there isn't enough white space to make the page have breathing room. White space gives us that easy feel that is easy on the eyes. It sets a more relaxed feel that alleviates stress. In life, do we provide enough breathing room, enough margin and white space to allow us ease? Life's pace has become so hectic that things get so crammed into each other. It gives us this dizziness and not enough space to chill.

Is it time to tweak the margin code? It's time to look at our schedules to see if we are allowing ourselves breathing space between appointments, commitments, and tasks. Running from one thing to another leaves one enervated and less likely to be at their best. When scheduling on your calendar, leave a few minutes to grab a drink of water, stretch a little, go for a 2-minutes walk, do a mini-meditation. We need to start factoring in mini retreats in between our hectic commitments.

When was he last time you took a vacation? It doesn't have to be a long and expensive one. Take a day on the week-end to drive to the mountains or the beach. If budget is tight, pack a picnic. Visit an out-of-town friend and catch up with each other.

Color.

Sometimes, just changing the color of the title, text, some accent element on your blog makes all the difference. It gives a newness that renews the excitement and motivation. What is it in your life that can use a little color change?

One inexpensive and easy way of freshening up your home is paint. It is amazing how painting a room or just adding accents can change the mood and provide renewed inspiration.

What about changing the color of your curtains. In these days when we are conscious with our expenses, we might try dyeing instead of buying new ones. Or maybe just adding a bright spring valance will do the trick. Add colored accents, even little touches can make a big difference. Think baskets, candles, pillows.

Think of ways to introduce colors into your daily spaces and wardrobe. It's a quick picker-upper that can introduce cheer and passion back into your day.

Size.

Text, graphics, pictures, and other elements can sometimes be the wrong size for visual appeal. Tweaking for size can give the page an attractive balance.

What areas of your life are too big, what areas are too small? It's time to do some tweaking to achieve a good balance. It might be work, relationships, education, or playtime. Do not allow some areas to get overwhelming that the focus on the other areas is lost.

Preview.

I like to preview my work before I click the save button. I keep tweaking until I get just the right effect that I am shooting for.

It is not a bad idea at all to click "Preview" in our life's tweaks as well before we commit. Preview allows us the freedom to try creative ways of doing things without too much pressure.

If you are thinking of changing careers (this can be pretty scary), you can preview by doing volunteer work in that area. Before I decided to switch from computer programming to training, I volunteered to train some educational classes for Toastmasters and a Youth Leadership Program. When I liked what I saw in the preview, I then took the leap and clicked save.

Think of ways on how to preview your tweaks. Play at it until you get it right. It could turn out to be a really fun experience.

So, if you are feeling that your life has lost some luster and excitement, tweak it just like you tweak your blog. Get that newness going - tweak the code.




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We Love You Gibby!

When you lose a pet, it is always a sad time. I've been trying to push down my sadness losing our cotton ball hamster sweetheart, Gibby. But it is not right to not acknowledge a life that has added so much joy to our home. I haven't talked about it, I do not want to feel sad, I wish she's still running on her little hamster wheel.

Gibby was a rescue from a horrible pet shop condition. Sami brought her home two years ago in spite of my protests. Knowing that the dwarf hamster's life span is so short, I really didn't feel like getting attached to someone who wasn't going to be around for a long time. But I am glad that we were blessed with her presence in our lives.

Gibby is the cutest little cotton ball, round, soft, and Sami says she loves me best. She was my room mate for a little while and would always greet me when I entered the room, happy, excited, and eager to see me. She best enjoyed the scrambled eggs that I made her. To me, she looked like she always had a smile on her face.

Sami spoils all our pets. I am glad that for her life she had the best yum-yums, Sami's enthusiastic chatter and baby talk, and an awesome interesting environment.

I really am not ready to face the loss of or sweet Gibby; but neither am I ready not to acknowledge the wonderful joy, laughter, and companionship she blessed us with. I will forever consider our home blessed because of the chance to have known Gibby.

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Do You Wake Up "Kind"?

When I woke up this morning, it occurred to me that it is not my nature to be kind. Rather, I wake up grumpy and full of restless energy. Therefore, I came to the conclusion that I need to work on being kind. What about you?


Maybe, there are those who are naturally kind, even in the early hours of the morning. But for those of us who aren't naturally that way, we need a gentle nudge at the beginning of the day to put on kindness for the day.

With this in mind, it may help to read something spiritual or inspirational before we start barking out loud when we wake up. Keeping a journal on the bedside table to focus on the most essential qualities we want to live by may be helpful as well. Some inspirational music may also jump start our with kindness.

Today, I resolve to refocus my day first thing in the morning, including kindness in my daily repertoire.
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I Pledge Allegiance....

Today, with a few hundred people gathered at the Nokia Plaza in Los Angeles, I watched Obama being sworn into the presidency, teary eyed. I stood beside my 21 year old daughter, Sami, and saw and heard her cry every moment during Obama's speech. She, with the the younger generation, have finally seen a ray of hope for her future and the future of her friends. We waved our flags with much joy and pride. The spirit of hope and devotion to country revived by our young president.

For so many years, I could not say the Pledge of Allegiance when asked to do so. Most Toastmasters meetings (and I've attended so many of them) start with the pledge, but the words just did not resonate with my spirit. I just stood with everyone else but did not utter the words.

Last week, thinking of Obama's commencement of his presidency, I found myself proudly joining others in saying the pledge; and finding the joy and pride in my heart once again. I know that I am but one of many whose spirit has been uplifted by this momentous time in history. I join fellow Americans, and people throughout the world, in supporting our new President. I look forward to everyday when I can truly believe and live as being created equal!
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Quit Scratching and Wear a Cone

Meet Bambi, our 11-year old sweetie Lab. She wasn't too happy here. She had an infected hot spot which made her feverish, threw off her balance, and made life miserable. To keep her from irritating the area, she had to wear this silly and clumsy cone. It was uncomfortable but it kept her from repeatedly scratching and licking the offending area. In a few days, she was back to her normal, energetic, and playful self.

What about us? Do we know when to wear a cone to keep us from scratching and licking the hot spots in our lives so they have time to heal?

It happens to us all. Well, maybe not all of us, but it certainly happens to me. And I know, for sure, that many of you can relate. What is the hot spot that you keep scratching and infecting?
Is it a home you might have lost due to financial hardship? Or the perfect job that was snatched away by lay offs? Maybe, it's a relationship that went bad. Whatever these hot spots are, we need to stop making them raw again by again by constantly revisiting them. Like Bambi, we need to wear a cone, leave them alone, so they can heal, and we can move on.
Granted that the spot had been cleaned out and an antiseptic has been applied; we've done all the denying, crying, angry ranting, what next. Sometimes, we need to wear the cone.
What is the cone you need to put on? It is different for all of us, but it is that object that may not feel natural to us. For isn't it more natural to scratch when we itch? Not the most beneficial thing to do; so we have to identify what will stop us from scratching that hot spot over and over again. Scratching would be the equivalent of revisiting those thoughts in our head and allowing ourselves to sink deeply into them so we feel bad all over again. These thoughts somehow give us some sick satisfaction for a few moments, but prolong the agony.
What is the cone you need to put on? It might be music that distracts us from those thoughts that reopens the hot spot. It may be new friends, a make-over, books, a pet, a new hobby, anything that will keep us away from revisiting the hot spot. When we feel like scratching, it's time to go for a jog, grab a comic book, talk to a funny friend.
It's too bad that life allows these hot spots on us. But it's even worse when we let them fester and allow them to infect and reinfect us because we keep scratching. Leave it alone. Yes, clean them out, get your meds and ointments, wear the cone. Sooner than you think, that annoyance and infection will soon go away. And you will be back to your playful, energetic, and happy self, just like Bambi.
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How Do You Make It Interesting?

Sometimes, my mind goes into a zombie-like half-dead mode working on repetitive tasks. And there are many times when we have to tackle tasks that we may not necessarily enjoy doing because they are a necessary part of life and work. If it is for a short time, it is not too difficult to quickly complete these and move on to more appealing tasks. It is when a great deal amount of time is needed when one can get catatonic with boredom.

How do we make it interesting?


Write. I keep a Word document open so I can quickly type some ideas and post them on my blog later. Amazing how a little break can clear the mind and allow it to continue!

Surround yourself with things that delight you. Right now on my desk, I have a bamboo plant, candles, and a picture of my reward (at least in my mind) – security for my family.

Hug a pet. Take a break and get your dog or cat (or whatever your pet might be) on your lap and give it some tender, loving attention. It is truly relaxing and comforting.

Read a good book in between. Take a few short breaks during the day and take in a few pages of an inspiring book. I am currently re-reading Women Who Run With the Wolves; a few pages here and there really breaks down the monotony.

These are just a few simple things you might want to try to break the monotony, allow you to complete the unremarkable tasks, and feel good about getting things done.

Once that’s done, it’s time to move on to things that inspire and nurture you. And having the grunt work done, will allow you to focus and truly enjoy the work that you love. Read more!

Tree

Sometimes, the natural cycles cause us to be in the state that this beautiful tree is in. Though the leaves may have fallen, and the tree may look bare, the colors and the shape still emanate beauty and energy within. Come spring, nature will resurrect and refresh the energy and life within the tree, and will bring forth newness, health, and rebirth.
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