Be Kind to Yourself

I was bombed out! I wasn't given the time and resources I needed to do a good job on a project; and I bombed! I was really hard on myself and started berating myself. My daughter gently reminded me that I was trying to do in one day (without any resources) what took my predecessor about a year to accomplish. Will I get in trouble? Will my reputation suffer? Will I lose my job?

The main point is I did my best with what I had. And though it seemed like I bombed, given the short time and absence of resources, I think I accomplished much. It was a serious crunch. Lesson learned? When we do our best, no matter how things turn out, we still make progress; progress that we can apply to our future projects and turn our better results next time.

And as we are kind, encouraging, and nice to others, we need to apply that same kindness to ourselves. To remind ourselves of our positive qualities, to make it okay to make mistakes, to eat comfort food, and cry if we need to. Kindness to ourselves when we fail, allow us to heal and move forward joyfully.
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Sami's stained glass designs get published!

She's my favorite artist - Sami Tayag. Her stained glass designs she did for Scenario for their client Bass Pro, are now published/installed at the first Bass Pro store in California. The store is located in Rancho Cucamonga.
The stained glass displays are located at the front entrance right above the display windows, and there's one high up on the roof triangle.

I'm proud of you, Sami! Congratulations! Read more!

Celebrate Successes

Too often, we get frantically caught up with work, projects, and the myriad of things we do daily. It's a go, go, go world!

It is so essential for us to pause occasionally and take a look at what we create and contribute. It is a "must" to take time out to celebrate successes - ours and others. Big or small, our work needs to be honored and acknowledged. We often wait for others: our bosses, teachers, family and friends to do this for us. It's great when they do. But we also need to do this for ourselves. We need to celebrate our own contributions. By doing this, we re-inspire ourselves to keep moving forward with our work and our calling. By re-igniting our passion and confidence, we can then easily do this for others as well.


Take a good look around you. Is your garden blooming beautifully? Is that new HTML hack working fine? Did you just complete another chapter of the book you are writing? Is your family thriving with the home environment you create? Is your business showing a nice profit?

Did someone you know just get a promotion? gotten published? had a new baby? bought their first home? finished a great project?

How do we celebrate our successes? It can be as simple as saying a prayer of gratitude, lighting up a candle, sending out an email, calling someone on the phone, a special dinner out or at home, buying a nice little gift, calling the media! You know what works best for you and yours.

Pause! Celebrate successes. It spreads so much joy around.
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The Best Prozac - Take a Break in Nature

A most powerful anti-depressant is time out in nature. When times get tough, when you are working too hard, when you feel down, let nature calm you down and restore your inner peace.

For me, the ocean - the refreshing sea breeze, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, the hues of blues and greens of the water restore peace and washes away the stress of the daily grind.
You do not need a full vacation to do this, plan mini day trips, eat your lunch at a park, take a walk or a nap by the ocean, read, listen to music outside in your garden. Doing this alone is awesome; but bring along your loved ones, or your favorite dog can be fun, too.

I'm a workaholic and it takes conscious effort to plan these all important breaks. So far, this is the best Prozac (anti-depressant) I've ever tried. When I am rested, I am a much happier person. I build up the joy, peace, and contentment within me. Therefore, I have more of these to give to those around me. My Mahal Spirit is restored.

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Preserve the Dignity

When you give to those in need, is it a handout or a gift of inspiration? Do we make those we help feel small that they have to "beg" from us? Or do they feel gifted with love, hope, and a blessing for better days?


A few years ago, I volunteered for a home for pregnant teens to train them in MS Office skills. I was given a tour by the house-mom and what a delightful experience it was. The home was not the typical shelter with just the basic necessities, a place where one can feel discouraged than inspired. Rather, it was a place where the expectant mom can find dignity, joy, and a hope for a brighter tomorrow. Tucked in a quiet cul-de-sac in the San Dimas suburb of Los Angeles County, the home was in a nice upper-middle class community, five bedrooms, and all the modern amenities of a dream family home. The teens were given responsibilities of keeping everything up in exchange for beautiful private rooms with nursery furniture added, healthy delicious meals, and commitment to work towards building a future for themselves and their babies. This place was a sanctuary with inspiration and dignity at such a special and critical time for this young moms.

I was touched and inspired by the way this place and volunteers preserved the dignity of those they were helping. The standard of hope this place gave the young moms was a wonderful vision for the future. What about us? How do we give? How do we help?

Take a look at what you donate to Salvation Army or Goodwill. Do you pack your oldest, most threadbare clothes, those items no one else could wear without falling apart? Or are you willing to bless others with your better clothes because you have lost some weight and they are a size too big? Will you keep a $300 dress sitting in the closet because it is too big for you, or will you willingly pass it on to someone else who will enjoy wearing it?

When a friend or family member needs some help with money, does your help come with a lecture about how they need to budget better? Does it come with interrogation?

When you take an unemployed friend out to dinner, do you take them to Del Taco because they can't repay the gesture? Or do you take them somewhere nice? When you pay for the tab, do you make a big deal about your gesture? Or do you casually pick up the tab so they won't feel they are imposing? Do you thank them for their time and the pleasure of their company?

My friend, Steve Smith, was coaching and mentoring me for free. Do you know how much career-coaching cost? With Steve, I never feel like a charity project. He always graciously makes me feel like he has the pleasure giving to me. When he wants me to do something with a project, for my own good, he has this awesome way of phrasing it like, "Please do me a favor...".

Maybe that's the secret. When we give, it is a favor and a gift to us. The opportunity to bless others, just like others bless us at times. How do you treat someone who is giving you a favor? With respect, with dignity, with the Mahal Spirit.


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Don't Jump into Your Day

When that alarm clock sounds the most annoying alarm, and we are mandated to abandon the warmth of our comfortable beds, most of us jump right into the busy-ness of our day. We start each day with such an urgency that befits the Pentagon.

Let's switch a few thing around. First of all, change that alarm sound into your favorite music. It makes a difference waking up to a well-loved musical piece. Also take a few minutes to really enjoy that first cup of coffee. Outside, on the porch or patio is a great place to do this. There, you may see some new flowers budding on your favorite rose bush, or some fruit starting to ripen on the peach tree. The air is still cool and crisp from its night's rest from polluting vehicles. You may hear a bird chirping. Enjoy a few moments alone, just in the state of mental, spiritual, and emotional rest. Say a prayer and send out some loving thoughts. This nurtures your spirit and allows you to spread the nurturing around during the day.

It is surprising how these few minutes sets up a more joyful and relaxed day. You will be able to handle the day's challenges a lot better when you do not jump into your day. Ease into it centered and focused on the Mahal Spirit.

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Cooking with Love

My sister, Leonor, insists that cooking must be done with love, or it will not come out delicious. She says taking your time, having a joyful spirit, and simmering with patience turns out a delightful dish. Of course, there will be "accidents" when even your love won't turn a dish around. But overall, Leonor's cooking (when she does cook) is truly sumptuous and enjoyable.

There are many things we do that are transformed to a higher level when we do them with love - going out on a date with your honey, special time with the kids, taking extra care in tending to your garden.

But because our schedules are so packed these days, we usually throw a meal together hurriedly. Today is Monday. We have all week to plan a wonderful family dinner for the week-end. Or invite some friends over for an evening of your love-filled cooking and DVDs. Make sure that you arrange some beautiful flowers on the table, and some candles will complete the set-up. How many of us experience the joy of having someone prepare a gorgeous and delectable meal for us? Not too often, huh?
Just for a change, take some time to cook with love and see some faces brighten up. Read more!

Gratitude

My good friend, Steve Smith, was mentoring me on a few points this morning. He brought up the subject of gratitude and I thought it will fit beautifully with my Mahal-Spirit blog.

It is not difficult to lose track of the quality of being grateful. When we are down, it's easy to get overwhelmed with all that is going wrong that we neglect to make time to see what is going great.

When things are going great, it is so easy to keep busy enjoying the good things and forget to be grateful.


Look around you with a grateful heart. There is so much to be grateful for. Just being able to see another day and love those you love another day. Nothing is ever too insignificant to be grateful for. My daughter who is peacefully taking a lazy afternoon nap. The roof over my head and the food (jalapeno-cheese bread, cheese, and grapes) on the table. My blog and my computer. Yes, my friend Steve Smith who is always wonderfully encouraging. The flowers blooming in my flower beds. My pets who amuse me and make me smile. A great new job. The aquarium that makes this relaxing water sounds. My shoe collection. The stuff I learn everyday. Books (Leading for Results - Jan Austin, right now)! All the various e-learning blogs I learn from. The ocean, the mountains. Even some "mean" situations and people I have encountered - they helped me grow!

When one is grateful, one can't help but live the Mahal Spirit! I am resolving to pick up my gratefulness journal and write in it daily. In Tony Robbin's "Get the Edge" program, he leads us through minutes of gratefulness exercises to focus on the life's goodness. Whatever form of activity gets you in tune with that gratefulness inside of you, do it! It can only make you a better person and make the world a happier place. Cheers! Life is good!


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When It Is Time to Go!

We've all been there, a situation that tears at our self-esteem, our creativity, and our self-respect. It could be a job, a relationship, a friendship, a group. When do we know when it is time to leave? How do we balance the commitment versus our very own sanity? It's a tough call. Afterall, did we not sign up for the situation we are in? One way or another, we voluntarily signed-up for it. Some time have passed and it has turned into a negative situation. How do we know it is time to go? There are a few questions I ask myself when I am faced with this dilemna.

• How did I contribute to this negative situation? Honesty with myself allows me to learn and grow. The lessons learned are an invaluable take-away from any problem we encounter and resolve. Did I do my part that I committed to? Was I honest and forthright with my dealings with others? If I have been at fault, I quickly correct the negativity I am adding to the situation and see if that resolves the issues.
  
• What am I gaining by remaining in an oppressive situation. People and situations are in our lives to teach us some things we need to learn and grow. Is there anything that a particularly difficult situation is teaching me? Patience? Commitment? Consideration? Take some time to really understand what it is that I need to learn and learn it quickly.
  
• What price am I paying to maintain the status-quo? Change is always uncomfortable. Sometimes, people stay in relationships, jobs, friendships for a very long time because leaving or changing creates such a stress that we force ourselves to tolerate that which we shoud not. When we have done our best, and the other parties involved are not willing to do their part to solve issues, we pay a very high price for staying. It could be a loss of creativity and sponteinity. Watching your back is a very stressful and consuming task. Constantly weighing what you do or say drains the fun out of life. What about self-esteem and self-respect? Allowing others to disrespect you destroys your own self-respect and self-esteem. Pretty soon, you will start to doubt your own strengths, your own decisions, your own self-worth. Too high of a price to pay.
  

It is time to leave when:- You are obsessed with the negativity and misery. You wake up thinking about it, you go to bed thinking about it. You know you are being consumed with the negative situation. When your energy is focused on this, you will lose the energy necessary to focus on what is good and empowering.- You can honestly say you have done your best and can do nothing else to better the situation. Sometimes, we just need to call it quits to save what is left of our energy.- You start to doubt your own worth and abilities. Negative situations and people will drain you of your Mahal Spirit. Do not let them.- You have taken a good look at the situation and have grown from the lessons it offers.

How do you leave:- Count the cost. Refuse to pay more out of your own self-respect.- Realize that you deserve to be treated better- Find an alternative. Create new friendships, join a positive group, start looking for a new job.- Have a support system of loving, positive people. They will remind you that you are worth a whole lot more than what you are getting from the situation you are faced with.- Devote your time, efforts, energy, and resources where it is appreciated.

The Bible tells us not to cast our pearls to the swines. Therefore, realize that you are valuable and do not allow others to trample on your beautiful spirit.

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Mother's Day 2007

Everyone scrambles to find the perfect gift, the perfect card, the perfect flowers. What a special time when we show mom just how special she is to us. Shouldn't everyday be Mother's Day? After all, isn't mom special everyday?


Sami is now twenty and she is the perfect Mother's Day gift for me. Though there have been many challenges through the years, there is nothing that has enriched my life more than motherhood. Sami is my joy, my inspiration, my hero. She has also been a big reason for my growth as a woman, as a person. We grow together. And I like how we have grown into the individuals and the family we have become and are becoming.

Sometimes, I just like to take it easy, to be comfortable in the world that we have built for ourselves, to just take each day luxuriously. Yet Sami keeps me on my toes. She points out to me that this isn't enough. That life is much bigger than hotel-quality linens, an immaculate house, and a trip to the nail place. She brings up issues that need attention: the pet food contamination that is hurting and killing our beloved pets; preserving our environment for the future generations; the hostile workplace situations that need our positive actions. It is good to have a young person in my life who believes that we need to do something, to act, to keep believing.

Sami loves me with the Mahal Spirit. When I doubt myself, she is quick to point out the good things I do. She is wonderful artist and she gives me rave reviews on my humble attempts at painting. She is a great writer, and she marvels at my attempts to write. She is an inspirer, an encourager, a Mahal Spirit. Sami shows me how to value life in everything. And she has made a wonderful difference in how I enjoy the joys that pets bring into my life. Sami provides the best home, love and care for all the strays that she has brought into our home. Our pets are not just pets; they are family. For how much I would be missing out on life without our pets. I can't even imagine not having Bambi's prima donna ways, her ever -loyal companionship, her deeply-knowing look in her eyes. And what would life be like without Majicou's (our spoiled cat) cuddles? And how dull everyday would be without Buddy's (doggie baby) leaps and bounds around the house. And the backard boys, Pogo and Jack, they add so much beauty (they are gorgeous) and love to our family. Not to mention the bettas and other fish that add life to living room, and the rats that are so funny in their dog-like ways.

That's Sami, so full of life, work, and causes. I am blessed to have her to give me a different perspective in life. For Mother's Day, she came home with four different kinds of flowers, ice cream (my favorite), 3 DVDs which she watched with me cuddled on the couch, and popcorn. It is the perfect day for me that I will not exchange for any diamond necklace nor a trip to Paris. See, it is the fact that she knows me well and nurtures those things that I love and give me comfort. What else is so special?

Everyday is Mother's Day with Sami. It is not unusual for her to come home with a pen (yes, a pen) for me because she knows I love pens. Sometimes, she'd come home with special paper, because I love paper. She'd bring home a couple of hazelnut creamers from 7-Eleven because I love that in my coffee. She'd spend hours finding the perfect candle for me. These are just a few things that she does...nothing big, but marvelously nurturing to my spirit. Thoughtful, small gestures add up to the big love and inspiring moments that make my life something to smile about.I hope your Mother's Day was wonderful. I have to go now and make my mom's day today another marvelous Mother's Day.
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Don't Forget Those Looking for Work

When we are so busy with our jobs and daily lives, it is easy to forget those who don't have jobs. We think they are sitting at home, travelling and enjoying the time off. Though this is true at times, it is easy for the job hunter to feel isolated and discouraged to the point of inactivity.


My sister, Leonor, has a beautiful way of giving the Mahal Spirit to her family and friends who are unemployed. She takes the time to chat with them and encourage them, reminding them of their talents, skills, and job-worthiness. In addition, she does this wonderful thing to get her job-hunting friends off their butts. Leonor sends out emails of job leads. These are not just so-so job leads. She takes the time to really target the person's skills, qualifications, and preferences.

We've all been there, job-hunting, discouraged, and at times, paralyzed. But when Leonor sends you that email with 5-1o targeted leads, it gets you excited again. In this most caring way, she gives hope, energy and inspiration.You all should be so lucky to have a Leonor in our lives. Why don't we be one to someone we know who is looking for work? Take a few minutes to follow her lead and see what a great blessing that can be to someone you love.
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Building Inspiring Moments

It is not uncommon to start the day with meandering thoughts of the daily grind - the boss we cannot stand, the co-worker who belittles us, the high pile of bills we need to pay. On many mornings, we wake up with troubling thoughts. Our first thoughts are not inspiring or encouraging ones.

Why not make it a resolution to wake up inspired? Easier said than done. But it makes a big difference in how we create the events of the day. Change that alarm to music. Instead of waking up to the sound of panic, change it to jazz, classical, or whatever music inspires you. Wake up just a few minutes earlier: to enjoy the sunrise, to give that puppy some loving, to luxuriate over that morning cup of coffee, to read a few words from your favorite inspirational book. Start your day by nurturing your spirit.

Before you face the daily grind, gear up for inspiration. Remind yourself to smile, to do something nice for others, to do something nice for yourself.

Make each encounter of the day a Mahal Spirit encounter.
Do we have to call customer service for our phone bill or electric bill? I know this can be challenging at times - the long hold, the inexperienced representative, not a pleasant task! While we are on hold, let's remind ourselves that courtesy goes a long way. Put a smile on your face (yes, it can be heard across the phone line), say "How are you today?", don't forget, "Please" and "Thank You". Not only will you be spreading joy around, you will get better help. And the caller after you will get better help.

At work, spread some love around. Humor and helping each other makes the day go happier. Sharing a little snack - bring in some doughnuts, make the coffee. Have we been so intense with living the dog-eat-dog world that we have forgotten how to be kind? We talk of the dog-eat-dog world. Yet, even dogs are kind to each other. For instance, there was Joy (our 7 year old dog who had passed on a few years ago), Bambi (she was 3 at the time), and Pogo (who was 2). They knew what team work was all about. They each had their designated roles and created an awesome team. Pogo picked persimmons off the tree and shared with Joy and Bambi. Bambi cracked the macadamia nuts for Pogo and Joy. Joy was older and was sick, she smiled at them as they shared the pickings. The Mahal Spirit.

When we are tempted to yell at our kids for not doing the laundry or cleaning up their rooms, count to ten, take a deep breathe, and remember to love their spirits. They love you and want to please you. But it is easier to love you when you discipline with the Mahal Spirit. Bring out the best in them by believing the best in them. Encourage the good and lovingly correct.
When we are tempted to be rude, short-tempered, and negative, it takes conscious efforts to treat each other with the Mahal Spirit. But by reminding ourselves that life is so much easier and grand when we spread goodness and kindness.
Have a great "Mahal Spirit" day today!


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