Joshua Tree, Nov 2014

Our senior pup, Pogo, turned 19 last November, and is now slowed down by arthritis.  Our outings that used to be multiday backpacking, rock scrambling, crossing rivers, and some other strenuous and challenging activities have been adjusted to car camping.  The adjustment is a little harsh since car camping doesn't offer the same taste of nature earned through sweat and tears.  Nevertheless, here we were at Joshua Tree with our senior dog enjoying the desert with the beautiful sunsets and moon, the early morning hearty breakfast, some barbeque, bikes ride, and lots and lots of love and togetherness.

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Trying my hand @ Photography

Creative pursuits will be one of my enriching activities for 2015, and photography is something that I thought will be interesting to get into.  Armed with Sami's old camera, here we go ...

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Bambi's Post Radiation Report Day

The past week went by with much nervousness and worry. After a week of radiation treatment, the wait and see period was truly unnerving. I have refrained from writing because fear and uncertainty. Realizing that uncertainty is always a fact that we face in life did not assuage my anxiety. A week of caring for Bambi consisted of making sure her meds were religiously administered by Sami (the diligent and ever faithful nurse), shopping and preparing her organic and well-balanced meals, making sure that she was comfortable and rested, and taking her out for exercise. There were times when I read aloud to her and of course, she always had Michael Jackson's beautiful music playing in the background. From observing her closely, she had some challenging moments when she did not feel too well. But for the past three days, she regained the spring in her steps and her feisty endearing ways. One thing was for certain, Bambi maintains her great appetite and her weight has been steady.

Today was the post-radiation check up with her oncologist, Dr. Lyons. When Dr. Lyons entered the exam room, a smile broke through his face as soon as he saw Bambi. She has been looking very good, even younger. Sami and I both got emotional as our vet declared that everything was looking very good, the tumor has shrunk significantly. Dr. Lyons listened carefully to Bambi's lungs, examined her from snout to tail, and declared that her healing is progressing very well. Vaccination number 2 (of 6) was administered.

We decided to celebrate, so off we drove from Culver City to our favorite seafood spot in Newport Beach, the crab cooker. Sami and I haven't been eating very well since the diagnosis and today was the day when we decided to pig out with much gusto. Finally, we tasted what we were eating as opposed to the days when we ate just because we had to. Bambi had her own plate as opposed to the leftovers she usually was given. Unfortunately, dogs are not allowed to walk on the beach before 4:30 pm so we skipped that plan.

Today, we were tearful with joy, knowing that our baby is healing well, that she is not in as much pain as she was, and that her puppy ways are back. Our fourteen year old beautiful black lab is on her way to recovery.

Bambi has many kind and lovely angels who have helped her, and continue to bestow love, attention, and practical help. From well wishes, prayers, and healing vibes sent her way, to financial help, and thoughtful inquiries, we have been blessed with family, friends, and even strangers in this journey. We have been blessed with wonderful vets who quickly and lovingly treated Bambi, vet techs who just adored and pampered her, and loving people around her who just showered her with love. We have been blessed with friends and family who dug really deep into their pocketbooks to help finance her treatment. With all the support that Bambi has been receiving, I can only say that my faith has been strengthened and continues to flourish.

Bambi, I can truly say that you are loved. Maybe because through the years, you have given so much love to everyone around you. Now, it is returned to you a thousand fold. Keep getting well and strong, my baby. My courageous and beautiful puppy, you are blessed!
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We are on Day 4/5 of Bambi's Radiation Treatment

Daily radiation treatment for Bambi is well in progress on day 4. It was a very rainy day today and it took us 3 hours to get to the vet (mainly because I got lost). Bambi looks quite well and she has made many friends, canine and human, at the vet's.

We met with the holistic vet today to consult about Bambi's diet. Since we have been researching and preparing her food from our kitchen, it was good to know that we have done very well for her. Dr. Mahaney's recommendations have been incorporated into Bambi's diet right after our conversation.

We believe in the importance of nutrition and the holistic approach to treatment.
We have seen how an enhancement in our pets' diets have produced positive results. For Bambi, she already looks so much better once we really gave her the best food. Yes, her diet is much better than ours. We should be so kind to ourselves, as well.

Tomorrow is day 5 and the last of her radiation. Please keep praying for her as she bravely continues her fight for good health. Read more!

At left, Bambi right before radiation therapy.

Today was Bambi's first day of radiation treatment. It is mind boggling to an overload of information on the Internet. In cases like this, it almost cripples one to make any decisions. There are many horror stories that kindles fear and paralyzes the spirit, mind and body. It was a very emotional day for my family.

Nevertheless, after Bambi overcame her attitude of being mad at us for taking her in for treatment, she was back to her usual funny, loving, and silly ways. As usual, she always wants to know what is in the fridge. Her appetite is insatiable. Her spirits are high and she is doing very well.


The treatment spans five days of radiation therapy, followed by immunology treatment (already started), and we'll see from there. My hopes are high that she will successfully overcome this.

Thank you to all our friends who are keeping Bambi in prayer and who have been helping us with the finances. Be blessed. Read more!

Keep the Love Coming Bambi's Way!

I am numb, I refuse to let fear or sadness get hold of me right now. The time requires for me to be the best that I can be, courageous, thinking smart, compassionate, loving, patient, strong...and I haven't been all that all at one time.

But some very special people are inspiring me and they have lit the fire in my heart to keep going. Bambi's biopsy results are not good. Our next step is to take her to the oncologist. So, I have been making phone calls and looking at vet reviews to find the right one for Big Girl.

To the lovely young lady who just so generously handed over her newly cashed school money to add the Bambi fund, thank you for your good heart.

Today we met with a new lovely friend who we have known only for a few months, right before the 2010 elections. She really doesn't know me and Sami very well, but her heart went out to us to help us financially with Bambi's health care. I thank her for her love, her trust (that we are not out to make a buck for ourselves), and her beautiful spirit.

And my Russian friend who just plainly stated "Friends help Friends!" Girl, you touched my heart and I was crying all morning from your loving concern and love. And how you allow me to keep my dignity in my time of need. You are truly precious, a Michael sent!

Our little French friend who has always been there with Bambi during the summer. In fact, we all established that she is Bambi's dog. The love and spoiling you gave our Lab diva goes a long way in instilling that beautiful and feisty attitude in her. I know your influence gave her fun and a spunk that will never quit. Thanks for your help.

Thanks to Johnny for visiting and giving her some time and love. You know that she loves people so much that the petting and the hugging does wonders for her spirit!

And most of all, to Sami, how can I ever do without you? For standing strong, keeping a level head, cleaning, cooking, giving meds, keeping watch at night...you are non-stoppable love. Your nurturing love has been the fuel that keeps Bambi happy and strong.

Today, Bambi went to see the horses, the sunset at the Lake, and just enjoyed some great mountain air. She loves nature and it just really gets her energized.

Tomorrow, we will find out more about the treatment and the journey ahead. For the past few days, we have been taking good care of Bambi's diet, supplements, exercise, and all that good stuff, trying to get her strong and ready for treatment.



Again, please pray for Bambi's healing and daily beautiful miracles, big and small



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Counting on Miracles

She is a beautiful 14 year old black Lab mix with a diva attitude and the most loving heart toward children. Bambi is a great friend to all who know her and a staunch defender of her peeps. To our family, she is the first baby, the mentor to the other dogs who followed her into our pack, the senior member who has a ready smile and big kisses, the one who always cheers us up when we are worried. Though still in a beautiful state of health as her vet exams show, she may have an operable tumor in the mouth. We are still waiting for her biopsy. In these cases, time is of great essence in saving her from much suffering and saving her life.

It will take a couple of days before we know, than we have to make quick decisions on further treatment. Unfortunately, because of the economy, our family has just been able to handle the basics of daily living. The little extra money that we have had already been spent on the ER vet and another vet for tests and diagnosis. I am shocked at how fast these expenses add up. I am hopeful that it is nothing serious. Please keep her in your prayers. At the same time, I need to prepare for anything that we may have to face.
It embarrasses me greatly to have to ask. But at this time, my resources are so minimal and our expenses have drained them all. Will you please help? Any amount will help save Bambi from any potential health risk that we may not be able to handle financially.
Should we not need the money for her, I promise to find another animal who may be in need immediate financial assistance. It is sad how these things should happen at this time when I can barely provide the essentials for my family. Modesty aside, I was always one of those who was on the giving side when needs arise. But as it stands right now, I am the one needing help. I usually hate to ask, but for my Bambi’s health, I swallow any pride and I am asking for any donation. I will need to raise thousands of dollar needed for surgery in just a matter of days. Please consider any donation. My Paypal account is ttayag@gmail.com Most important, please keep Bambi in your prayers and send her your beautiful happy healing thoughts.
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I Love My Ma!

My Ma is approaching eighty years old soon and beautiful as can be in every way. Extremely head strong and determined, sweetly thoughtful and sentimental, sharp and intelligent, she is the most admirable person I know and love dearly. She is my s/hero and I can only hope to be half the woman that she is.

When Dad died, I was a one year old baby and my sister was three years old. It was Ma who raised us as a single parent, nurtured us till we were ready to fly out of the nest, and to this day continues to support us in every way imaginable. Ma went through so many challenging times in her life: a fire that burned down our house to nothing, leaving our family with not much more than literally the clothes on our backs; a raging flood that went through town, totally washed away our home, carried it a distance down the river, and again, left us with not much more than the clothes on our backs. Through all these times, she remained strong and always managed to give me and my sis the best possible life.

The top ten reasons why I love my mom:

1. When I was very young, for as long as I can remember, in spite of a very tight budget, Mom always made Christmas the best celebratory time ever. She stayed up really late many nights before the day, (after working at a full time job and running a few small businesses) sewing new dresses for her girls. She even made little adorable hair ribbons to match. On Christmas eve, we stayed up late at night cooking all sorts of yummy goodies, from Filipino tamales, to yam cakes, cassava pudding, and more, while we waited for midnight mass. On Christmas day, we visited friends and family and collected so many cash gifts that it made me feel so rich.

2. She always made the best dishes to eat, experimenting with new recipes and doing it with joy in her tiny kitchen. She even peeled shrimps and cracked crab legs for me and my sister during meals. She took so much delight in seeing us enjoy her cooking.

3. When my sister and I got in trouble for ditching school, she was called into the principal's office. She lied to the school, saying she gave us permission to skip so we can run errands for her. :-) (P.S. - We were very good students!)

4. For the few years that my sis and I were in college, on weekends when we didn't go home, Ma made sure we were nurtured and fed. She cooked loads of our favorite dishes, packed these into carrying bags, and hopped on public transportation to visit us. At that time, buses were not air conditioned and she had to endure 2-3 hour trips in the heat.

5. She tolerated my radical political activism that I got involved with in high school, allowing me express my beliefs that were important to me. I knew she was very nervous when I mouthed off to a political goon armed with an armalite, but she was proud of me.

6. When I was in an BIG oratorical contest in high school, I didn't want her to attend because it was going to make me nervous. (Yes, I was not very nice at all) She didn't give me a hard time about it though I swear I saw her sneak in at the back of the auditorium to watch me.

7. She took us to the movies even when she hated movies and always slept in them.

8. When I was going through my marital breakdown and just had my baby, she took six months off from work to be with me and help me get settled. She allowed me to be weak when I was tired and weary of being so strong in the midst of my life's drama.

9. When I was going through some very emotional problems recently, she'd tell me over the phone, "You are strong, you can handle this." It was about the only thing that made me hang on and overcome.

10. She loves to share her recipes with me. I truly enjoy the many long phone chats when she and I share over the phone discussing what to make for dinner or special occasions.

And there are so many more reasons why I love Ma. But in a nutshell, I love Ma because she is the epitome of a caring, thoughtful, and giving woman. In addition, she also possesses the strength of spirit, mind, and determination that set a great example for the next generation of women in our family.

There are no words adequate enough to describe just how much I admire, respect, and love my Ma.


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New Life

How easily we forget when we are going through death that there's always a rebirth at the other end, if we choose it. Whether it is the death of a marriage, a job, a friendship, or any other loss, we grieve (as we should) and get stuck there. We have witnessed in our lives the many instances that where death is, often times, the rebirth of victory is not too far away.

The death of something meaningful in our lives is sometimes brought about by circumstances beyond our control -- a lay off, a divorce that we didn't want, sickness, people just choosing to leave us, and other events that we would not have chosen. Nevertheless, it happens. At other times, we've chosen to leave a relationship, to terminate a business, to severe friendships. It may have been a very tough decision. Nevertheless, it happens.



At times, this is necessary, to give birth to something more meaningful, to make way for our own purpose, to allow growth for those concerned. We mourn and become paralyzed by the thought of what we've lost. We are unable to move to the next stage. A time for reassessment before choosing to move ahead is essential; to evaluate the goodness and be grateful, to learn the lessons, to celebrate what was.

From there, it is critical that we get ourselves up from the bed of regrets and grief, dust ourselves up, take that shower, and rejoin the world. For the world is waiting for us to take our place, a place where we start (maybe from scratch) renewing and rekindling. It will happen. The soul will once again breath its life into a newness, growth, and a new celebration.

It is easy to forget, but the cycle of nature, and Easter, reminds us that death is not a forever loss. It is moving to a new level of existence where we bring forth the lessons, the growth, the maturity we've acquired to create another significant and meaningful life -- in our relationships, our careers, our friendships, our art, our contributions to life.

Happy Resurrection. Welcome to a new life.
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Tweaking the Code

Have you ever worked on a blog using a template? Did you sometimes feel that it didn't quite appeal to you completely? It may be a great start but you wanted to make it feel just right. So you got into the messy work of tweaking the code to make it perfect for your needs.

Likewise, there are times when there are areas in our lives where we need to tweak the code to make it right for us.


Margins.
I do not like the cluttered look where there isn't enough white space to make the page have breathing room. White space gives us that easy feel that is easy on the eyes. It sets a more relaxed feel that alleviates stress. In life, do we provide enough breathing room, enough margin and white space to allow us ease? Life's pace has become so hectic that things get so crammed into each other. It gives us this dizziness and not enough space to chill.

Is it time to tweak the margin code? It's time to look at our schedules to see if we are allowing ourselves breathing space between appointments, commitments, and tasks. Running from one thing to another leaves one enervated and less likely to be at their best. When scheduling on your calendar, leave a few minutes to grab a drink of water, stretch a little, go for a 2-minutes walk, do a mini-meditation. We need to start factoring in mini retreats in between our hectic commitments.

When was he last time you took a vacation? It doesn't have to be a long and expensive one. Take a day on the week-end to drive to the mountains or the beach. If budget is tight, pack a picnic. Visit an out-of-town friend and catch up with each other.

Color.

Sometimes, just changing the color of the title, text, some accent element on your blog makes all the difference. It gives a newness that renews the excitement and motivation. What is it in your life that can use a little color change?

One inexpensive and easy way of freshening up your home is paint. It is amazing how painting a room or just adding accents can change the mood and provide renewed inspiration.

What about changing the color of your curtains. In these days when we are conscious with our expenses, we might try dyeing instead of buying new ones. Or maybe just adding a bright spring valance will do the trick. Add colored accents, even little touches can make a big difference. Think baskets, candles, pillows.

Think of ways to introduce colors into your daily spaces and wardrobe. It's a quick picker-upper that can introduce cheer and passion back into your day.

Size.

Text, graphics, pictures, and other elements can sometimes be the wrong size for visual appeal. Tweaking for size can give the page an attractive balance.

What areas of your life are too big, what areas are too small? It's time to do some tweaking to achieve a good balance. It might be work, relationships, education, or playtime. Do not allow some areas to get overwhelming that the focus on the other areas is lost.

Preview.

I like to preview my work before I click the save button. I keep tweaking until I get just the right effect that I am shooting for.

It is not a bad idea at all to click "Preview" in our life's tweaks as well before we commit. Preview allows us the freedom to try creative ways of doing things without too much pressure.

If you are thinking of changing careers (this can be pretty scary), you can preview by doing volunteer work in that area. Before I decided to switch from computer programming to training, I volunteered to train some educational classes for Toastmasters and a Youth Leadership Program. When I liked what I saw in the preview, I then took the leap and clicked save.

Think of ways on how to preview your tweaks. Play at it until you get it right. It could turn out to be a really fun experience.

So, if you are feeling that your life has lost some luster and excitement, tweak it just like you tweak your blog. Get that newness going - tweak the code.




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We Love You Gibby!

When you lose a pet, it is always a sad time. I've been trying to push down my sadness losing our cotton ball hamster sweetheart, Gibby. But it is not right to not acknowledge a life that has added so much joy to our home. I haven't talked about it, I do not want to feel sad, I wish she's still running on her little hamster wheel.

Gibby was a rescue from a horrible pet shop condition. Sami brought her home two years ago in spite of my protests. Knowing that the dwarf hamster's life span is so short, I really didn't feel like getting attached to someone who wasn't going to be around for a long time. But I am glad that we were blessed with her presence in our lives.

Gibby is the cutest little cotton ball, round, soft, and Sami says she loves me best. She was my room mate for a little while and would always greet me when I entered the room, happy, excited, and eager to see me. She best enjoyed the scrambled eggs that I made her. To me, she looked like she always had a smile on her face.

Sami spoils all our pets. I am glad that for her life she had the best yum-yums, Sami's enthusiastic chatter and baby talk, and an awesome interesting environment.

I really am not ready to face the loss of or sweet Gibby; but neither am I ready not to acknowledge the wonderful joy, laughter, and companionship she blessed us with. I will forever consider our home blessed because of the chance to have known Gibby.

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